So cranky that I wonder why

Its already been 2 weeks. My mood is still so unstable. I am just so unhappy about something but i do not know what is it? All i know is i just keeping throwing my temper around esp to DD.

Nothing suit my ear. I can't say i am not being loved. I can't say no one care about me. Maybe the care and love is sonething not i really wants. Please don't ask me what is then i wanted because i do not know the answer too.

Sometime i just feel so pathetic. Why do i have to beg for something while other don't have to. Oftenly, i need to blow up in order to get what i want or the attention i need. But when i gets it, i find that i do not want it anymore. Is this because i get it through hardship or because there isn't love in it anymore as i need to ask for it instead of being surprised by it.

I always reminded myself to be happy go lucky. But will this character bring to a wrong impression of me that i am always alright with anything and everything. I can be a cheerful person but this doesn't mean i can always compromised with anything. I used to be very good at bottled up feeling but now i could not remeber how to.I show all out in my face. Wonder what had got into me. Is this the real me or i just trying to be somebody and who will it be?

I am still cranky and i am still wonder why......