Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Upset..Disappointment..Hurt


Tml is the day i waiting for and finally it comes.But now i am not happy at all.Bcos there is one thing spoilling my plan or rather our plan.And there is no alternative to get this thing done.Die Die also muz follow the rules.

I am so upset now.I have no mood to look forward too.Out of sudden,i feel tml is just another normal day.But it not lor..This date is a very impt day to me.Why always this sort of thing muz happen at this time lei...

Many times,I feel that something is playing a joke in my life.This kind of things does not just happen once but many many times till i can sense that something is just blocking my way.

I just want to lead a normal life..why is it so diffcult?why do i have to hurt some1 out there who adores me alot?Did i brought this matter up with my own hand?Is it i have to blame myself for the state i am now?or is it a hint of something which i think i will be shock to accept and also refused to accept if this turned out to be true....i do not wish to think about it further..

I am so angry with myself.Why am I always have to make others to suit my way? Happiness is not just one party responsibilities.It consists of 2 person.

I feel so useless and helpless.I can't solve the situation but to follow as being set.Bcos of this,I was forced to be part with my love one on such an important day.No one is happy about this..

I should blame no one but myself..For this very moment,i am extremely hate myself so much that i wanted to let go of everything...maybe this will better for me...

Monday, March 17, 2008

1st day @ work after a long rest...

Went to pick up my medi and do further check up at the same time.This time, another conclusion shook me.I was being recommended some scanning which due tml morning.I have a mixed feeling.Happy that i realised it early but sad bcos "WHY ME!!!"...
Many people had mentioned once you reaches a certain age,all sort of illness start to knock at your door...does it mean its time up for me??..Dragging with a heavy foot step, i make my way to office...
The mmt i reach the building,i heard thumping sound...OMG! The building is undergo "construction".And i was told today is the 1st day..haha i think this is sort of welcoming me back to office baz..haha...
Making my appearance to my boss to inform her i am back and break the 2nd bad new to her too in case i need to rest again...miss call my DD and start my PC.Starring at 100 over emails,i dunno where to begin.Talk to my hardworking xiaomei for awhile & we decided to continue during lunchtime.Away for so long,i think i need to be update of wat happen while i'm not around...
As i am walking around to do my work,i was being concern asked by lot of coli.WOW...seem like every1 know about my "Gateaway" wor...therefore,i had to repeat my "story" times over times....from internal to external..
Times show no mercy to me.With 1 blink of eye,it oredi 6pm and i still have tonnes of things not done.The same old question-how come i can never finish the work?...
Tml i will be late for work again due to scanning appt and result will only be out after about 5 working days....pray sky pray ground,hope i will be fine and the pain will go away...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Phew!....negative blood test result

Remember i say in my previous blog that i asked to go for a blood test by SGH.Today the result is out and i am so glad to hear doc say that blood count is normal though still got abit of virus signal but they are harmless.Of coz,if i feel bloated or still unwell for the next few days,the chances of gng back to SGH is still very high lor...I pray hard that this will not happen and listen and try all kind of remedies parent and parent's friends advise me...

Before the 1st illness cured,i was down with another mystery pain on my right chest.Somehow,my chest bone was swollen and blue-black,causing much significiant pain.Once again i scare my mum to death.I wanted very much to go for a check-up but my regular female doc on ML and only be back in June08.Having no choice,i can only go for a female doc on monday at DBS building.Hope i am not too late to diagonse anything.

For now,mum bring me to a chinese sinseh in BB.She is oso my regular chinese sinseh.She was shook to feel the lump on my chest and urged me to see GP fast and meanwhile she prescribe some powder for me,hopefully it will do some help to my lumpness....

Haiz....why all illness come at 1 time???.....wonder what will be the next one after this?....hope there isn't anymore cos i dun think i can take it liao....

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A 4D3N GetAway @ SGH

Trembling with aching body thinking that i was just down with fever only.I self-cured with 4 tablets of panadol but sad to say,it come back at 5pm again.So unbearable i decided to go home early and visit a doctor to get proper treatment.

Reaching home,find out that doctor only available at 730pm.feeling hungry,mum cooked some porridges for me and i went to queue for doctor downstairs and my gastric start to drum. His name is Dr Loke. He prescribe some med for me and conclude that i had gastric flu.

Taken the med he prescribed,thing start to get even worse.vomitting non-stop,bros was waken by my parent to send me to A&E immediately.By then,the pain is killing me.I was given a wheelchair the mmt i reach and luckily i got to see the senior nurse immediately and was put into a wheeled-bed. My queue no is 149.While waiting for the medical doctor on duty to see me,the pain start to increase gradually and fever start to return. And i vomit again.

Dr Rose came and start to poke needle on my forehand and draw a tube of blood for testing.I know mum is heart aching to see this scene.For the mmt,i only know i am in great pain and i just tearing away.Bros ask me to inform DK where am I so i did.I dun think it will surprise him as i had pre-warned him.

Initial conclusion,she says might be gastric flu or food poison.she can't say more until blood test out while i was being push to observation ward. From then onwards i did not get any better and even worst than ever, i throw out whatever stuff put into my mouth until i can feel all my intestines are ready to dash out too.All med had to be feed by injection and i was on drip. By 10am,Dr rose says since I am still unwell,it better to admit me and stay for further checking.The nurse called my bros to inform him.actually I dun like Dr Rose,feeling that she has no patient to analyse my sickness.Then i get to know that day is actually her last working day...no wonder....

Then,an ang mo dr joseph diagonse me.I had to tell him all over again in pain. I muz say he is more patient than dr rose.he came to me and say i might be virus infection result to gastric flu.And of course,another tube of blood was requested for testing again and urine too.During the stay at observation ward, bros help me with the admission and DK came to visit me out of his busy schedule.I wanted to tell him i will be fine but i know i am not and my expression can't lied.

At about 3pm, i was bedridden to ward 46.Initially,i choose to be in wheel chair but i was just too weak to sit up. Then Enrolled nurse took my height,weight, blood pressure and etc and again i vomitted as usual. A group of doctor came and again i repeat my story to them.conclusion-no breakie no lunch no dinner for me till doctor approved and i stopped vomitting. I will be forever on drip.At 1am, i was given ECG test and was wheel chair to do 4 kinds of x-ray.Back to bed,i request for painkiller to stop my tummy pain and i kanna injection again. But pain only stop after 2 hour later or becos i am tired.....

for the next 2 days,i always had the feeling of vomitting but nothing come out and only gas or throat is making some funny noise which embrassed me alot.in total i was on 9 bottle of drip of sodium water.My blood pressure is always on the lowest level...During these days, mel, yili,godpar and mum's friends visited me.and of cos DK has been by my side all the while....

At last,Prof chow visited me on the last day together with those medi doc who had seen me for the past days,they summarised my history to her.I was very impressed that she is really professional.She can concluded alot of things by just listening to them...WOW!!!... Finally,she ask them for all the parameters of test result which i had taken.Then she says something about 90% which is very high and ask them to test me again before releasing me to make sure i am alright. Then I got to know when the day i admitted,my white blood cells is 90% more than red blood cells. After 2 hours of wait,result though allow me to go home but they request me to do another blood test 3 days later to achieve more definate answer.

Tml is the day to conlcusion my illness result. Hope everything is fine even though i am still burping in loud everyday.....so embrassing lor..

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A trip to a hot country-BKK

This trip had planned way in month of june07..haha..abit KS right..and finally the day comes.
Leaving sg on 28 feb 08 @ 6.30am,we did not fly off smoothly.we trap in the plane for almost 1 hour due to generator faulty and they are changing a new one..i nearly fainted in the plane lor...

We got into a cab whom driver does not know where our hotel located.but phew,he smart enuff to ask his buddies and kind enuff that did not bring us merry-go-round.

Left BKK on 3rd March 08 @ 8.10pm but we reached sg @ 11.30pm coz BKK airport only open 1 runway track for plane to take off so our tiger is q-ing for it turn to fly off.Reach home almost 1am again coz our luggage simply refused to come out from the belt.frightening me off for the moment.And bcos having the intention to take bus homeand we missed it,we are paying $14.10 for a cab ride to reach home which needs only 10 mins driving lor...Gosh....ex!

Have a tour of some pic we took during the 5 days stay in BKK...ENJOY!
Reaching BKK new airport-Suvarnabhumi Terminal

Our branch before check-in hotel-Indra food Court.

This is the hotel we stay.overall very comfortable.

International breakfast served at the hotel coffee house.

The most posh massage parlour we ever had on our 1st nite stay..WOW!!

Try their jap cusine-shabu shabu only 219 baht wor..not too bad la..
My 1st night market of the trip - Suan Lum Night Bazaar,LumphiniMy 1st time to ChatuChak Weekend Market-HOT HOT HOT!!!
Our last dinner in BKK so muz have a awesome one...yummie...
Sadly,our journey comes to an end..at departure hall waiting to fly home..

Our dinner cum supper before boarding the plane...laa gòn bangkok
Have a good rest and continue the battle the next day....
But my mind already start sourcing for the next destination to escape from reality.....hahahaha